April 8th

This gorgeous Hellapegapa was created by my very dear friend Rhiannon Tully-Barr. Seriously, she owns all rights to that gorgeous creature, and is there for my hero. I love how she actually made one. She is the coolest person of all time. Like, seventeen times cooler then my lame boyfriend, and everyone else I know, combined. Plus 17 gold stars to her, because hot damn that creation is gorgeous. I just want one soo badly now!

So , yeah, Rhiannon = a bloody genius with them photoshops.

The rest of my day was spent reading crime and punishment on a beach, while it lightly rained and I contemplated Russian philosophical ideals on what a killer thinks, what his mind is like and what a killer truly deserves. I realized today that only now, I feel like he might be bad. It never occurred to me in the slightest that he was a bad person for murdering someone, which is weird but true. I just accepted it as an okay thing to do. Also, he admits he is bad, and my first thought is all “oh killer guy in the book, your not that bad. You just killed an old lady to see what would happen, no biggie”. So, I sympathize with serial killers, oh the things you learn reading Russian literature.

Goddamn I love reading, and literature, and old fancy classy books of delicious. They’re just so mind boggling awesome. Okay, that’s all I really need to say, because at some point I’ll straight up rant about how awesomely I adore Shakespeare and Chaucer and Byron, but for now, other issues.

You know what sucks, doing the right thing sometime, in letting go of people in your life.it’s super hard to tell someone that them being around hurts you, and well, I wish never had to. It was damn tough, but I feel like I made the right choice. It’s just, although I’m helping myself from getting hurt, I’m hurting someone else. That’s a tough notion to deal with. For me, especially, I find it hard to be selfish if I’m directly harming another person. I get all anxious and nervous and freaked out they will hate me. It was so difficult to just let that all go, and do what I needed to for me.

Anxiety = stupid annoying mental thing I would love to go away
Beach days and thoughts on life = win,and something I so needed
Hellappegapa’s = why my friends are amazing

Cheers